Tune Out the Barking Dog

I’m currently in uncomfortable territory in a couple areas of my life. Experimenting with a new medium in my artwork and developing two public talks have me feeling anxious and out of my comfort zone. (That commotion you hear is my mentors cheering in the background.) Learning doesn’t happen in the comfort zone.

Our words and what we give voice to have power. I have to be mindful not to get sloppy with my language. There is one narrative that runs through my brain: I don’t know how to do this, I suck, this is never going to work, what was I thinking? These are all old, tired, harsh, and familiar refrains from the voices of judgment and resistance. They are also not true.

I think of this narrative of resistance as the barking dog. When it shows up, I notice that it’s there and at some point – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly – I  tune it out or it stops barking. I can’t let it prevent me from doing the work.

The closer we are to our real work, the greater the resistance.
– Steven Pressfield

The other narrative is the gentle, kinder, objective voice. The truth is I’m figuring out some things that I haven’t done before in this exact way. It feels awkward. With art, it’s a new medium with new materials and unpredictable results. I’ve done this a bunch of times so I have history and experience to call on. That doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable when I hold the expectation of a certain result in mind. It flows when I let go of those expectations and play.

Not so coincidentally, one of the talks I’m working on is about what we give our voice to. I’ll be sharing what I learned from losing my voice during cancer treatment. I know this topic because it’s my personal experience. I’ve written about it and spoken about it in other settings. What’s new is organizing it into a coherent talk for a group. What’s new is being vulnerable in front of a hundred people and keeping it real. The challenge for me is to be honest and let go of the need to look good. When I get scared and default to teaching mode over sharing my personal story, it gets stiff and awkward. When I speak from my heart, it flows.

Action relieves anxiety. Here are some actions you can take when you feel out of your comfort zone or in over your head:

Remember when – think about a time in your life similar to the one you are in now. The details may be different but the essential qualities are there. Remember that although you may feel that you’re in new territory, you’ve done this before. Experience you’ve had in other domains is directly transferable to new situations.

Look with fresh eyes – It’s amazing how when I’m frustrated with a piece and want to give up, it looks so much better the next morning! Take a break. Walk away. Come back later. Work more. Repeat.

Ask for help – Coaches, mentors, and supportive friends are all good candidates. When I’m too proud to ask for help, I’m in trouble. Whether it’s content related or empathy you’re looking for, it’s all there for the asking. This has been one of the hardest lessons for me. I’m making progress.

Dogs bark. That’s what they do. How we react to the barking is our work. We can let it ruin our day or find a way to tune it out. It’s up to you.