The Neighborhood

I am unusual among my friends in that I live close to the place I call home and enjoy spending time with my biological family. My parents still live in the house I grew up in on a block where we knew everyone and the kids streamed in and out of each others homes. We don’t see a lot of that in our neighborhoods these days.

In many places it’s rare to know our neighbors. On a block of six houses, I’m only on friendly terms with the couple that lives next door. I met another couple around the corner 3 years ago when the fence separating our homes blew down in a storm. They’ve since moved and the only thing I know about the new people is they have a baby and chickens.

We recently completed a landscaping project in our front yard. It all started with a crack in the driveway from the root of a tree gone rogue. After parking on top of the crack for a couple of years so no one tripped on it, it was finally time to get it repaired. This ultimately involved installing a whole new driveway.

Once the driveway was complete, the “low maintenance” front yard – meaning it was low on our list of things to spend time maintaining – looked tired and overgrown. Clearing out the jungle of plants revealed a section of the fence that had essentially disintegrated and was now on view for all passing by. The deer had also found a way to crawl into the back yard resulting in a smorgasbord for our four legged friends but no strawberries for us.

As home improvements often go, it evolved into a much bigger project than we had originally imagined. One thing led to another and we now have a new driveway, upgraded fence and beautiful landscaping with drought tolerant plants.

I’m delighted with the result. It’s pleasing to look at and I frequently go out to walk around and survey the progress of the new plants. Subsequently I’ve been spending more time out in front of my house.

For the first 15 years we lived here, I mostly came and went through the garage and was rarely out in front except when washing cars or watering plants. Conversation with passersby usually went no further than hello. I rarely met new people because I was usually busy with a task, head down, and going about my business.

The unexpected result of hanging out in the front yard is I’ve been meeting more of my neighbors. Mostly the dog owners and people out exercising, we chat about how long they’ve lived in the area, what plants the deer won’t (theoretically) eat and a medley of other topics. It’s been gratifying to meet and learn about – at least casually – more people in the neighborhood. The conversations may last a minute or 20. Most of the time I don’t even learn their names.

I’m pleasantly surprised at how much more of a member of this community I feel from these random conversations. Ten years ago I was more curious to learn about the rest of the world. Today, I want to learn about the people who share my zip code.

The more familiar we are the less we have to fear. – Patrick O’Neill

It feels to me that there’s an energy rising to move toward one another, to become familiar again. Look at the rise in book clubs, creative circles, and meditation groups. It’s not natural for us to live isolated and separate from each other. I wonder if we’re getting tired of the polarization, exhausted from fear manufactured by the media and weary of being suspicious of each other. I know I am. God, how I pray this is true.

What I can do is go outside and be available to connect with others. I can meet my neighbors.

One Response to “The Neighborhood”

1. Ellen says:

   August 18, 2015 at 1:40 pm

   Thanks Mary for the insights about being “familiar”. I love sharing moments with my neighbors-laughing and telling stories. And, there are always tales of deer, squirrels, and skunks. Great fun!

   Reply