When Transitions Intersect

Back around 2012 I had been asking the universe for a big change in my life. My sense was it would be in the area of work and creativity where I was feeling stagnant and had become restless. I even went so far as to say: “Surprise me!”

No one was more surprised than me when I was diagnosed a year later with Stage 4 throat cancer. Lesson #1 – be specific about what you ask for. Little did I know then that this very health crisis would provide exactly what I had been seeking in my work and creativity. The intersection of the two turned out to be intimately interconnected.

It is not unusual for a health transition to show up unexpectedly through illness or physical issues, an accident, life cycle changes such as menopause, or a precipitating event we observe in a friend or family member. It is the wake up call that finally gets our attention.

In my work as a writer, teacher, and recovering “fixer” my impulse during treatment was to hurry up and figure out what this was all about on a metaphysical level so I could share it with others. In retrospect, I think I was hoping to skip over the rigorous inner – and physical – work required to even begin to understand what it was all about. Courtesy of chemo and radiation, there was no hurrying up to do anything at all.

Then came the question: “What if this is just for me?”

A tectonic shift of a concept. A declaration of independence. I didn’t have to be any certain way for anyone else. I didn’t have to recover on anyone else’s timeline. I didn’t have to concern myself with anyone else’s reactions or feelings. I had freedom to heal in my own way and time.

There were some important things wanting my attention that I was unable to hear until my false constructs about identity and performance had been stripped away. Important things like my voice, life purpose, and true nature that were calling for expression.

I learned to listen. I learned there are more levels of listening than even I, as a professional listener, was aware of. I learned that it takes stillness and silence to really hear. I learned to listen to the wisdom of my body.

Cancer – or any illness – is not only a transition. It is an initiation into the unknown. In any initiation/transition we have the choice to grow, remain the same, or regress. When we meet it with curiosity, courage to face the unknown, and compassion for our own process, it is a gift that can bring us to the essence of who we are.

For me, it was an initiation into faith. Faith that I have all the resources I need to meet whatever comes – in any area of my life. Faith in my value that is not tied to what I do in the world or how much money I make. Faith that the Mystery will give me what I most need, not necessarily what I think I want.

What has emerged from this experience is energizing new work at the intersection of well-being and wisdom. Stillness and creativity are the portals for discovery.

This week I was back at my throat doctor for a quarterly check up. All looked good. She explained that in June I will be at the 2-year mark and would then shift to checkups twice a year. She went on to say that at 5 years they will call me cured.

My immediate reply was that she was welcome to take all the time she needed. As far as I’m concerned, I’m cured now. Not an argument or a denial. A declaration of my health and well-being – of the faith I have in my body, my own wisdom, and the Mystery.

Join me at the intersection of well-being and wisdom at Women at the Well: Transitions.

June 5-7, 2015
Pescadero, CA

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